Zombie Preparedness - My New Year's Resolution

There are truly some magnificent creatures mentioned in the bible.  They stimulate the imagination beyond our wildest dreams.  This is an interesting topic, so let’s jump right in!

The Leviathan

The Leviathan is mentioned in four different places in the Old Testament.  Isaiah 27:1 speaks of a twisted serpent that lived in the sea and the entire chapter of Job 41 describes the Leviathan as a giant reptilian creature that breathed fire, had impenetrable scales and terrified those that sailed ships at sea.
 

What I find fascinating about the leviathan is that the Hebrew word is pretty much how we say it today:  Livyathan – A giant sea monster or dragon, a large aquatic animal with twists and folds. 

The Dragon

Dragons are mentioned many times in the bible and they are another type of giant sea monster coming from the Hebrew word Tanniyn. 

Giants

The scriptures speak of giants that walked the earth, races of men that ranged from 7-9 feet tall.  The Hebrew word for giant is Nephiyl or Rapha, the old tribe of giants.   

And there are some creatures mentioned that have caused translation debates such as the cockatrice (a fiery, flying serpent), the unicorn and the satyr to name a few.

But zombies are the creatures on my mind at the moment, and imagine my surprise when I found THEM in the bible!

Okay, let’s switch gears for a moment.

Resurrection:  The act of rising from the dead and returning to life, to rise again and unite with the body with the soul after death.

Jesus talks about resurrection and the day of final judgment.  I was reading some scriptures about this the other night and something hit me.  

Well, before we get into the nitty-gritty of that, let me add my own personal clause about judgment. 
 

Heather’s Judgment Clause §11.11:  The scriptures are clear that Jesus does all the judging, not I.  We will not be taking a ride down Condemnation Highway by any means.  Say no more, say no more.

So, back to the topic at hand, at the final judgment the dead are raised either to the resurrection of eternal life or eternal damnation (separation).  The resurrection of eternal damnation also carries with it its disturbing clause of “where the worm does not die”.  So you have scripture describing all who have lived being resurrected, soul and body, and you have some resurrected to eternal damnation.  Those that are physically resurrected to eternal damnation are separated from eternal life where the worm does not die. 
  

Does this not sound like the living dead???

Eternally resurrected and separated from eternal life.  Essentially resurrected to eternal death where the worm does not die.  Does this not sound like Zombies?!?

I find this somewhat unsettling. 

Now, the bible doesn’t say what these guys are eating, but according to Joss Whedon lore, zombies do not eat brains (unless instructed to by their zombie masters).

Ref:  Daniel 2:12, John 5:21-29, Isaiah 66:24, Mark 9:47-48 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Forget about all that Mayan Calendar/End of the World hype that we had to endure for 3 years leading up to 2012.  I believe 2012 will go down in history as The Year of Zombies!

And henceforth I will call it that in my brain, “HENCEFORTH!  2012: The Year of Zombies!” There are echoes in my head as I say it and some sort of suspenseful music playing.  Well, let’s just go with Electric Worry by Clutch and keep it simple. 

If memory serves, I think there were at least 6 zombie-like incidents reported on in 2012.  These include the Maryland student admitting to eating part of his roommate and who can forget the un-appetizing Miami face-eating anytime soon.

Now in 2011 the Center for Disease Control (henceforth called the CDC in the remainder of this post) started releasing campaigns for Zombie Preparedness. 

Really.
 

No, really.

I’m not joking here.  There are 5 pages dedicated to Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness on their website and you can even join the Zombie Taskforce (sorry, they are out of t-shirts), so don’t tell me they didn’t see this coming.  Not only did the employees of the CDC take time (and our tax money) to research, discuss and promote a campaign about Zombie Preparedness, but this may be the one incident where Jesus and the United States Government completely agree on a topic.

So please my friends, even the CDC is advocating, get prepared. 

The zombie apocalypse is approaching.

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